We lose … we all lose.

Anger, fear, and loss of mental control seems to plague so many minds these days.

I feel it in the language of the news writers… like they are trying to push these things on the reader’s minds through their fingers typing away at the keyboard. People read the news for breakfast and have it boiling in their stomachs and minds all day long.

It is as if… we have lost control of the bigger picture. That we ourselves are powerful and important. That we each can shape and mold the world just as the mighty do. We sit on our couch at home and wonder how all these people got so much power.

I guess many people weren’t told those words while they were growing up. It seems that those that heard it often… learned to believe it regardless of where they came from in the world. Words like this: “You can do anything. You can learn anything. You can become anything.”

I have the understanding that everything is a language of sorts. Music is a language…  and the more skill you have with the language of music… you can write notes that make people change inside or feel something… just like I can with these words. I have played at the language of words for so long… that making music with my fingers on the strings of your emotions is like seeing if you are happy or sad by looking at your eyes. They say a picture is worth a thousand words… but how many people have sat down and written out the pictures in their mind just to practice their skill of writing?

Coding is a language. Imagine telling a computer to do something…. a machine that has the power to do millions of tasks over and over again until it succeeds. Like cracking your password or putting back together the papers you shredded.

Languages… skills… talents…. not really the same things are they? Or are they? People say how talented another person is… when in fact they couldn’t see how long the other person’s mind was working at trying to learn something behind the scenes. Like child prodigies who have parents who are good at math or music. The have been immersed in the lessons and environment their entire lives… so I wouldn’t call it a talent… just a language they picked up from their parents.

As for skills. Skills are just micro languages that either build off of certain traits like eye hand coordination or puzzle solving skills. Even mimicry is a valuable skill to work on developing. A crow mimic’s other crows to see where they hid their treasures.

What I am trying to say is…. Lies are a language. At some point we should learn this and understand that it is something that is best not listened to or focused on. What if instead we learned the language of the Father? What if we spend time and that 10,000 hours minimum needed to begin to master something and try to learn Love instead? What would happen then?


What indeed?


Getting lost in the music…

I code now…

I am in my second semester of learning computer languages and I find that it is like playing Tetris with your mind all day long.

It is fascinating and I love to learn how I can tell a computer to do something faster and more accurately than I could. I dream of what I could create and wonder why the images in my mind haven’t been created yet.

If the computer is so much faster at responding and calculating <if this happens then do this> statements then why isn’t life better in every way?

If your heart does this then signal or do this.

If your blood pressure reaches this then release this chemical.

If your skin absorbs this much sun then cover with this spray or turn on protective cells.

If someone approaches from behind in the dark then activate strobe, sound, and defensive measures.

If child stops breathing in crib then lower oxygen mask to breathe for child until help arrives.

We are on the cusp of being free… the ledge before flight and everything is taking way too long.

In the almost to come: Family visiting

When I was a child I remember the anticipation and excitement of certain events. I remember wanting a bike and then due to my ignorance of his intentions refusing to go on a trip with my dad. The “trip” was to go pick out a bike with me… but I didn’t because I wanted to stay home and play…. he asked my older brother next and when they came home with a bike I found out the reason for the trip.

In moments like that, and others: (waiting for a girl to recipricate your love, waiting for a job interview, waiting for a gift, an event, a moment) I found that I should kill my excitement and anticipation fast before it grew to the point where it would cause me pain later if wants were not met. I remember experiencing tears and sadness on certain occasions because I let my childish inner excitement grow to an uncontrollable level right before a letdown. .

There were some events that instilled and further strengthened the need to kill anticipation early later in life. Events like asking for leave in the Air Force months in advance only to find your name erased from the list when the time came. Some jerk thought his “Super bowl” party was more important then me visiting my family or was higher rank.

I found that many events had to be forced. You had to buy your plane tickets and force their hands. Sure they said you could go on holiday 4 months ago but they really need you now to do x useless thing that always is and will happen.

Something will always happen and try to ruin your happiness.

What I learned from it all was to kill the anticipation and excitement beforehand. If you don’t and things don’t happen you will be left sitting in your house angry and upset.

If you kill your excitement you will be pleasantly surprised when things do turn out.

Now I just float…. and it helps me maintain peace inside. No more are the days when I go crazy with excitement when something happens. I just smile and enjoy the moments as they come. If I won the lottery I would probably be just the same as I stood there with the winning check. Just observant and enjoying each moment the same.

By stepping back and not being drawn into every moment of excitement you are able to observe and enjoy them calmly. It is so easy to be blinded in excitement… the yes I will pay that charge, that expense, that ticket to get something to happen. People take advantage of those who are exciteable. Rather than getting emotional and unable to properly explain yourself to a Chief or Officer that the person in slot 3 erased your name and placed their name there…. you can be calm and communicate fully.

Land of the free & home of the lost…

A nation founded with the words “Under God” would need to be attacked in a different way than say a nation who believed in reincarnation and offered sacrifices to appease spirits.

I grew up in Thailand and came to see a massive contrast between here in the States and there in Thailand:

In Thailand sex slaves were common and in America I went to school pledging allegiance every day. The words “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” actually resounded and imprinted themselves into our little brains.

In Thailand the rights of the rich were paramount and attacked by the poor. In Thailand you were robbed by police for simply driving down the highway before a holiday. They would set up road blocks and take money from people so they could have more spending cash. The concept was “if you had, then you had the right to give to others.” It didn’t matter if you were in the right if you were driving a vehicle… you still had to pay.

In contrast here in America the rights of everyone was constantly being inflated out of proportion. People would sue for spilling coffee on themselves, for stepping on sidewalks wrong, and for breaking into another’s home and getting injured. The very foundation of the nation was constantly getting eroded by everyone’s right to believe whatever crazy idea they wanted. They no longer wanted to pledge allegiance to anyone or stand for anything solid. Their views turned ever inward toward self love.

In Thailand I remember riding to school on a public bus and then taking a motorcycle from the main road to our school. Along the way we would pass a huge building that was surrounded by tall walls topped with broken glass and barbed wire. Our motorcycle driver almost got us it several wrecks because of the distracting women that would come in and out of the gate. It was a sex trade combine where women were either sold into the sex industry or were hooked with drugs.

Every time I would come back to the states something fundamental would have been changed. One time when I came back the word “Bad” had somehow become “Good”. I saw people making rules up that they had no right to make. Lemonade stands were made to go away because it wasn’t part of “someone’s” made up rule. The Bible was taken out of schools and from the steps of the courts.

Now the tiniest minority has power over the majority. We don’t dare offend the LGBT community for fear of being labeled as something hateful (I laugh at this and welcome any label for the sake of truth.) and yet something interesting is happening while all this is going on. We are welcoming in Muslims. Muslims and LGBTs cant coexist. There is no such thing as an extremist Muslim… they ALL believe the same things.

Obama care: How to be sneaky

I wonder sometimes how people get good at being sneaky and manipulative. Previous presidents had used the time honored tradition of “buying” support by giving nice tax cuts to the American population.

What would it take… or what kind of research would a person have to do to figure out how to “buy” 20 MILLION votes?

Now, I am not saying Obama was smart enough to figure this out but I am curious what Democrat was. (Nothing much against either mind you. I am just curious who thinks like this.)

Lets consider this for a minute. Americans tend to spend their tax cuts on crap as soon as they get them. What if you could give them money… say allot more than they normally would get but you would hide it behind something that they themselves needed or their family needed. Wouldn’t that make them indebted, loyal, trusting, thankful, or at least look at you in a better light?

So, before the Affordable care act people who could pay for their health coverage mostly did. Those who were poor or had preexisting problems tended not to. What OC did was make those 20 million who couldn’t afford it or who had really expensive things that they needed to fix all of a sudden be able to reach into the collective pot of money to pay for their ailments. Who was going to pay for those 20 MILLION problems that needed fixing? Not the poor or sickly… but those who had already been paying for health coverage. All of a sudden the pot has no money in it and every normal person has to pay their sky high premiums. This is how a Democratic system works. To take from those who have and give it to those who wont or don’t.

As I see it, we are in a state of free fall the more we give power to government. The more we allow them to tell us what we should believe or do. My advice would be to buy guns, arm yourself and your mind, fight for truth, and be prepared for an invading force(Radical Islamic Terrorists). This false sense of security that we have been lulled into has made us soft and easy targets.

(End note: These are my thoughts on events in the past and where things are headed in the future. You may disagree or agree.)

Feb 17th: The fast into slow

Have you ever realized that technology seems to make life fast? You hold a device in your hand that can give you answers to your questions in a matter of seconds.

I remember a day when wisdom was something that was gathered and grown over time. When you heard your father tell you something that his father taught him and you let it grow as a seed inside your mind. Influence was limited back then… The more the world is able to communicate and spread whatever it wants in your mind (and your children) the more you allow weeds and damaging ideas to propagate.

Don’t get me wrong… there are plenty of amazing and wonderful things to learn out there. I have found that I enjoy watching The Tommy Edison Experience and Molly Burke on youtube. I like to understand how other people live… Tommy was blind since birth and totally has a different way of experiencing his life. Where you and I are taught to watch for physical ques and are so visually geared… he is not. He doesn’t make eye contact (or even know what that would be like) or face people when he talks. His existence is like a radar of sound and yet he lives life in a very successful way. Molly Burke mostly vblogs and tells about her life since losing her sight. While she tends to ramble… it is, to me, what would happen to us if our sight was gone and all that was left was the ever internal voice in our minds.

Ok, back to how the world spreads false and damaging thoughts. I don’t have an active tv in my home. I didn’t grow up with it because we lived overseas in Thailand and the Philippines for many many years. I find that I lose concentration when a tv is on in a room :(. When we go to restaurants I tend to face away from a tv so that I can focus on my friends and family. When I visit people’s houses I find that allot of homes have tv’s that run nonstop. They consider it their “background” noise. Wow… to me that is like letting a garbage truck park in your living room so that you will have a “background” smell. I don’t see much good or praise worthy things being played on television these days. My truck doesn’t even have a radio (Well… I was going to install a new one in it but to make a long story short I didn’t want to go to the store to find an adapter so for the last 3 years I haven’t had a radio… which I have found I enjoy.). Even on the radio I tend to find things that speak death into my life. Songs about sleeping around, pain, and lust just shoved in your ears.

Honestly I don’t think people notice these things much any more. We tend to only notice what is fed to us most: Should you watch what you eat? Lift weights? Diet? Make more money? Look better?

These things are physical traits… that are external. Why do we pay so much attention to cleaning the outside of a glass when the inside is getting filled with crap?

If adults have somehow learned to ignore or tune out certain things because of age or experience or time… imagine what just a little bit of this stuff will do to our children? As parents it is our responsibility to guide and teach our children in ways to resist and to grow up to be amazing people. Instead the parents are tired. They are tired of listening because they are always having sounds barraging their ears. They are tired of caring because the news is always making them angry. They are tired of feeling because the guy on the tv made them cry. They are always able to think that there is something better, some one better, out there because they have so many dating junk mails being sent to their inbox.

Some times I think being blind is preferable to seeing. It is more calming, more natural, less stressful. So I turn down or off the radio, I turn off the tv, and I leave my facebook behind… and find life.

(Oh yea! Why the fast into the slow?) I find that the more we rely on what news or information that is instant and on our computers or phones… the more slow we get in being ourselves. We are fast to parrot back what the media says, what that star says, or whatever nonsense we have on the tip of our tongues because we heard it recently… and how slowly we are to realize that we didn’t intend to become so selfish, hateful, ignorant, or nonflexible.

2017: This new year

Hi again.

Well… wasn’t that a interesting 2016? I would suggest you write down your thoughts about 2016 so you can actually see how it effected you. As for me…

I found the media to have betrayed their core purpose in instructing the people with unbiased and truthful news. It was as if they married the most corrupt and dishonest organization in order to push someone into a position of power.

Politicians and the job of running our country have become something that is not for the people… as it was originally intended. It has become a corrupt form of gathering currency, power, and generational control over the masses.

In 2016 I watched as our national lack of responsibility and paying for the consequences for our actions turned into something else. We no longer teach our children to be responsible with what they are given. We consume and throw away items and resources at an unimaginable rate. We don’t teach our children to listen to authority any longer and we rage when authority makes them pay for their actions. We have left reason and wisdom so far behind that personal opinion has become the god of choice. And yet… that is where media and politicians have learned to control the people. IF the people are lacking wisdom and understanding and are easily swayed in their minds then whatever the media consistently feeds them will be believed and followed.

Man has become, for the most part (At least 50%), a consumer of garbage…. both mental and physical. The old saying still stands: Garbage in, garbage out.

We watched our people vote in droves vote for the evil they considered the lesser… when both were impure and undesirable. A man who can’t control his tongue and a woman who couldn’t tell the truth.

With connectivity at it’s all time highest for humanity… we are at a all time low for wisdom. People drive cars, walk, and run machinery with screens in hand… waiting for the next notification or tweet. Able bodied men and women stand by the street corners and seek handouts and hope to ply the working class’s heart for money. My ancestors had a saying that causes me to look upon these acts with disdain: If you don’t work then you don’t eat.

I found people to be gathering anger in their hearts…. like little children who throw a fit because they aren’t getting their way.

As for me and my house, I sought to ignore the waves. I looked to the future and the path that I was set on. God is good. 🙂